One of the best places to meet a Cougar is on a dating site. Here are 10 things never to say/ask when you contact a Cougar online.

1. How old are you? – Does this even need to be said? You’re either interested in her or you’re not. Does it really matter how old she is if you think she’s hot?

2. Hi/How are you? – One word or one line emails will get you nowhere. About 50% of cubs who approach me online make this mistake. What percentage do I respond to? 0%. If you are emailing a Cougar for the first time and that’s all you have to say for yourself, good luck.

3. You look good for your age. – You may think this is a compliment, but mentioning a woman’s age is a back-handed compliment at best. Why does it have to be ‘for her age’? If she looks good, she looks good. Period.

4. Can I be your Cub? – Would you ever say “Can I be your boyfriend” to a stranger? Probably not. It’s something that either just happens naturally or is discussed in “the talk”. You may be trying to be funny, but it sounds like you’re either desperate or you want to be a pet!

5. Have you had botox? – Asking about any cosmetic procedure is “très gauche”. If she wants you to know whether she’s had any work done, she’ll tell you. As long as you think she’s hot, who cares?

6. I love Cougars. – This may sound like a compliment, but it’s not. We don’t want you to be interested in us simply because we fit into a category. We want you to want us for, well, us! It would be the same as a woman saying, “I love athletes”. It also sounds as if you’re leaving out the last part of the sentence, “I love Cougars and I want to have sex with as many of them as possible”.

7. Did you get my pictures? – A profile without photos immediately raises a red flag. What are you hiding? So if she asks for photos, and you don’t hear back, don’t write her again to see if she received them. Yes, she did, and she’s not interested. Move on.

8. I hope there’s more to you than your beauty – And we hope there’s more to you than repeating lines someone gave you to try to shake our confidence. Too many guys are using that line these days and it’s getting old.

9. Tell me something interesting about yourself – Ugh! Can you be any more vague? Not having a specific question makes you look like you have no conversational skills, and that is a major turn-off for Cougars.

10. Call me. My number is 555-xxx-xxxx – This too makes you look desperate or not very discriminating – you’re giving your number to a complete stranger. Women want to feel special, and by giving out your number without waiting to see if she will even respond to your email, she feels like just a number.

Lucia is a dating/relationship expert, columnist, author of “Lucia’s Lessons of Love” and host of “The Art of Love” radio show on L.A. Talk Radio. She’s appeared on Dr. Phil, The Tyra Banks Show, 60 Minutes Australia, ABC 7 News, E! Entertainment, The KTLA Morning Show and numerous radio shows across the U.S.A., including Playboy Radio.

With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice ” after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it.

Online dating and romance to many men and women seem to be mutually exclusive ideas. The men, especially, that join up on Internet dating sites without doing any homework about how to woo and seduce women online are doomed to failure. However, just a slight readjustment of your mental attitude – to include more romance – will see you streak ahead of the try-hards.

So, how can you be romantic when you are a member of an online dating site? Surely the empty cyber space of pixels and bytes offers little opportunity to be romantic with girls and guys you are chatting to online. Actually, no!

The three Internet dating tips outlined below are mainly addressed towards men, but women can also employ them with a fair degree of success.

The Power of Romantic Words

Men have long held the upper hand when it comes to being romantic with the written word. The greatest romantic poets have been men – Shakespeare, Keats, Byron, and many more. So, men are indeed capable of turning their hands to the power of romantic writing to win the hearts of fair maidens.

If you are not a great one for writing romantic emails, though, then you can always get some inspiration from some of the great writers. Introduce a classic quote from one of Shakespeare’s sonnets, for example, and the women you are targeting through your favourite online dating site will be very impressed. In fact, admitting that you are not a great wordsmith, and then including a romantic quote, will often score you bonus points. This might be called the “aw, shucks!” factor, where a woman sees that you have gone the extra mile to make an impression, but at the same time are being modest about your own capabilities.

Use Cyber Gifts

Everyone loves receiving gifts. This is especially true in the early stages of dating. So, make use of the many e-gift options that are out there. Once you have someone’s private email address, it takes no time at all to order and send an electronic greeting card with some appropriately chosen romantic words. Especially effective are animated greeting cards, and those where you can personalise the messages by inserting his/her name and your name.

Send Real Gifts Using the Internet

Once you have established a trusting and perhaps even romantic relationship with a person you have met online, you can surprise and delight your girlfriend or boyfriend by sending real presents through e-shops and other online merchants. Some of the favourites are the old standards of flowers, chocolates and perfumes. But don’t be limited by this. When you know the person well, including their hobbies and passions, then you can be a real romantic by sending small, yet very personalised gifts. For example, if your guy is into golf, send him some monogrammed golf balls. If your woman is an avid reader, send her a gift voucher from a trendy bookshop. You will only be limited by your imagination. And you don’t have to be a brain surgeon – just pay some attention and all will be revealed to you. Such small yet amazingly thoughtful presents will strike all the right cords with your beloved.

So, it is clear that you can be a true romantic by using the amazing resources available over the Internet, and without having to spend a fortune to do so. If you use these dating tips at the early stages of an online relationship, you will have a better chance of converting cyber love into reality. What’s more, if you play your cards right, you will also be on the receiving end of some romantic gestures.